Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Secrets To A Great Marriage

M. Gary Neuman's Secrets To A Great Marriage

Ten Rules for Avoiding Emotional Infidelity
Rule 5: Avoid Consistency in the [workplace] Relationship
  • What you want to avoid are regular, ongoing personal conversations in which you're developing themes, favorite topics, or a continuing dialogue.
Rule 6: Don't Share Your Personal Feelings
  • When you find yourself engaged in conversation with a member of the opposite gender, share little of your personal experience or feelings.
  • If you feel the need to share a feeling, tell your spouse that night instead.
Rule 7: Be Unflinchingly Honest with Yourself
  • Be aware of whether you are ever feeling the slightest twinge of intimacy or attraction.
  • Consider honestly why you're looking forward to the next time you meet up again.
  • Be truthful if you have a little bounce in your step as you walk away.
  • Perhaps you feel you're missing a certain something.
  • Put your energies into finding it with your spouse.
  • After years of marriage, it's hard to be in awe of your spouse or suspect that your mate has some incredible talent that he or she has never shown you. Sometimes we have to realize what relationships can and cannot do for us.
What Are You Missing?

When you find yourself enjoying conversations with someone of the opposite gender, ask yourself:
  • What am I receiving from this relationship?
  • How can I receive the same thing from my marriage?
  • How can I fulfill this need outside my marriage safely.
When I first met my spouse, she was my employee. I had given up, for the time being, of even pursuing a relationship, and it was totally unexpected. But somehow everything just clicked between us, and before long she resigned her position because we wanted to pursue a relationship that we couldn't pursue as employee/supervisor.

It can be that simple for something to happen in the workplace, if you don't remain constantly aware and alert to the possible repercussions of your actions. Now, my wife and I are happily married, and [you could probably say that I work for her now], while I've changed companies, I'm still doing the same kind of work, and exercise every caution to prevent any appearance of a repeat of the way my wife and I met.

I'll share some of my methods with you in a future post.

Your comments?

Joe


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