Friday, July 18, 2008

More Great Marriage Tips from M. Gary Neuman

Secrets to A Great Marriage, from M. Gary Neuman's Emotional Infidelity

Ten Rules for Avoiding Emotional Infidelity
Rule 8: Avoid Cordial Kisses and Hugs, or Dancing with Members of the Opposite Gender
  • If you ever need a polite excuse for avoiding a kiss or dance, explain that you have a cold and fear it's contagious.**
Rule 9: Don't Drink Around the Opposite Gender
  • Even a single glass of wine or shot of scotch is enough to relax you and lead to a more personal conversation that may be damaging to your marriage at a later time.
  • If you're at a party and really want to join in the festivities, plant yourself next to your spouse.
Rule 10: Show Your Commitment to Your Spouse Daily
  • Do something thoughtful for your spouse every single day.
  • Doing something for your spouse reminds you throughout the day how special this person is to you.
  • Have lots of photos of your spouse, kids, and pets around the office as a visual reminder to you and others of your priorities.
** I cannot say that I condone of this method. I do not think that it's right in any situation to encourage dishonesty. First, being dishonest in such a way as the author recommends might encourage the person to try again in the future, only leading to more dishonesty to duck out then. What a tangled web we weave.... Instead, I think in this case, as in all others, honesty is indeed the best policy. If I found myself in this situation (which would mean I have already failed, as I should do everything to avoid the situation in the first place), I would simply say, "I'm sorry, this dance is saved for my wife." That might even draw a, "Maybe next time" response, to which I would smile and say, "Sorry," while just shaking my head in disagreement. There is no reason I can think of not to openly tell a person that you only engage in such close physical contact with your spouse. After all, if what we want is to get the message out that we are devoted and committed to our spouses, why not be completely open about it at all times?

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