I love my wife because she always picks the best times to surprise me with homemade baked goods. Tonight: Cupcakes!Your comments?
Joe
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Why I Love My Wife
I love my wife because she always picks the best times to surprise me with homemade baked goods. Tonight: Cupcakes!Your comments?
Joe
Monday, October 13, 2008
Why I Love My Wife
I love my wife because, for the second night in a row, I came home from work to homemade baked goods -- this time cookies!I love that my wife found something she could enjoy when I took the family to Five Guys Burgers & Fries for lunch after church today.
Your comments?
Joe
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Why I Love My Wife
I love my wife because today she surprised me with homemade banana bread with chocolate chips. Unbelievably delicious!I love my wife because she does an excellent job of managing the home so I can focus on my job of managing a retail store.
I love that my wife has found new and creative ways to save us money.
Your comments?
Joe
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Concluding the Fasting
One week ago, at church, Pastor Scot Longyear challenged the congregation to a one-week fast, based upon the teaching of Jesus. His challenge was not necessarily that we fast for the entire week, if we felt we couldn't fast for such a period of time, but that we observe some sort of fasting for the week (actually eight days) from last Sunday until this Sunday evening.
That fast has now ended, and I wanted to share my experience, and my thoughts, with you here.
I chose to observe two types of fasting over the week. First, and this might seem simple, but I chose to abstain from all forms of commercially prepared and packaged soft drinks for the entire week. My wife and I drink quite a bit of Coke Zero, and I felt that this would be depriving myself of a drink that I enjoy very much. I did not allow myself any form of commercially prepared or packaged soft drinks. In fact, I drank only coffee, water, milk, and Kool-Aid. It could be argued that Kool-Aid is a commercially prepared soft drink, but based on the fact that it's just flavoring in a packet that has to be combined with sugar and water in the home, and the final product was not commercially packaged, I allowed myself Kool-Aid on two occasions during the week.
Second, I chose to fast completely from any type of food from midnight until dinner time every day (skipping breakfast, lunch, and all snacks in between). Furthermore, I did not allow myself to have dinner until after 6:00 pm, making the daily fasting period at least eighteen hours long. I began my soft drink fast first thing Sunday morning, and began the meal fast on Sunday evening.
I have tried to fast before for a full day, and have only succeeded on one occasion. It's not an easy thing to do, and takes a great deal of determination and commitment. This week's fast took the same type of commitment, as I had to discipline myself to follow some very strict rules about eating and drinking every day for a full week. Now, I know that there are some people in the world who have to follow stricter rules about eating without choice, simply because they don't have the resources that I have. That's the point: to deprive myself of something by choice, for the purpose of learning discipline and getting closer to God.
That fast has now ended, and I wanted to share my experience, and my thoughts, with you here.
I chose to observe two types of fasting over the week. First, and this might seem simple, but I chose to abstain from all forms of commercially prepared and packaged soft drinks for the entire week. My wife and I drink quite a bit of Coke Zero, and I felt that this would be depriving myself of a drink that I enjoy very much. I did not allow myself any form of commercially prepared or packaged soft drinks. In fact, I drank only coffee, water, milk, and Kool-Aid. It could be argued that Kool-Aid is a commercially prepared soft drink, but based on the fact that it's just flavoring in a packet that has to be combined with sugar and water in the home, and the final product was not commercially packaged, I allowed myself Kool-Aid on two occasions during the week.
Second, I chose to fast completely from any type of food from midnight until dinner time every day (skipping breakfast, lunch, and all snacks in between). Furthermore, I did not allow myself to have dinner until after 6:00 pm, making the daily fasting period at least eighteen hours long. I began my soft drink fast first thing Sunday morning, and began the meal fast on Sunday evening.
I have tried to fast before for a full day, and have only succeeded on one occasion. It's not an easy thing to do, and takes a great deal of determination and commitment. This week's fast took the same type of commitment, as I had to discipline myself to follow some very strict rules about eating and drinking every day for a full week. Now, I know that there are some people in the world who have to follow stricter rules about eating without choice, simply because they don't have the resources that I have. That's the point: to deprive myself of something by choice, for the purpose of learning discipline and getting closer to God.
How did I get closer to God by fasting? Because I could not have done it without Him. By doing it for Him (because He says "when" you fast, not if), and relying on Him to give me the strength to get through it, I found myself calling upon Him to help me through the tough times. The toughest of which was today.
It was an interesting and valued experience. I will certainly do it again in the future, and probably place stricter rules upon myself.
This week's fast was to end with a special Communion service at church. Our old church in Terre Haute, that is. As the price of gasoline skyrocketed in the wake of Hurricane Ike, my wife and I decided to continue our church shopping here in Indianapolis rather than making the ninety minute drive back to Terre Haute. We decided to continue our fast until the time that we would have taken Communtion (approximately 7:00 pm).
I am happy to report that we may very well have found ourselves a new church home in Indianapolis. We both left there feeling that we may just be done with our search finally. More on that tomorrow, I hope.
Jesus Christ on Fasting:
Your comments?
Joe
I am happy to report that we may very well have found ourselves a new church home in Indianapolis. We both left there feeling that we may just be done with our search finally. More on that tomorrow, I hope.
Jesus Christ on Fasting:
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Your comments?
Joe
Monday, September 1, 2008
Vacation: Day Six
Today was the big day: my son's fifth birthday. Normally, we go to the Indianapolis Zoo on his birthday. This year, for some reason, my wife decided we would take a trip to Kings Island, which just happens to be about twenty minutes away from where I grew up.We loaded up early this morning and headed out. The drive was about two hours. Since we met, my wife and I have gone to Kings Island nearly every year on Procter & Gamble Dividend Day: a day that P&G buys out the entire park and gives out Kings Island tickets to it's shareholders. My brother-in-law is retired and has always given us his tickets. It's nice to go for free, but now that my son is over three, we need three tickets to get in, and the number of tickets my brother-in-law can get is limited to two. So we purchased our tickets and went today for my son's birthday.
As you can see by the picture above, my kids met all of their favorite cartoon characters. My son has always been a little odd about meeting larger than life cartoon characters, but my little girl just loved them. When she first spotted Spongebob, she took off running to meet him.
My son took a crack at one of the midway games, racing me in a game where you shoot a water stream at a moving target. He won, and chose his first ever midway prize, a little purple monkey. He was quite proud of his win.My son got to ride his first roller coaster, and absolutely hated it. I must admit, even this coaster designed more for kids than adults, was probably just a bit too rough and fast for a typical five year old. Though I think my two year old daughter would have loved it if she had been able to ride it.
We had a great day. The kids were both wonderfully behaved. In fact, my daughter, who at the age of 28 months is potty training, made it through the entire day without having any potty-related accidents! We were so proud of her!
The temperature was high, the humidity high, and many of the park's patrons today were running around in next to nothing -- not the kind of environment we like to spend the day in. But we had a wonderful time.
After leaving the park, we headed to Pizza Tower for dinner. My son was offered the choice of any place he wanted to eat, and he picked some place that we have never been before. The pizza was good, the bread sticks were even better, and the kids were given pizza dough to play with like Play-doh. Then we had an incredible quarter-pound chocolate chip cookie. Pizza Tower appears to have only the one location, but they seem to know what to do to make the dining experience one that pleases the entire family.
After a quick stop at Toys-r-Us on the way home, to allow each of the kids to pick out a special toy for being such well-behaved kids on a very long, very hot, very hectic day, we returned home and put the kids to bed. As I worked on this post while listening to news of Hurricane Gustav on Fox News (the only cable news network worth watching), I looked over at my beautiful bride to find her sound asleep on the couch. She probably won't be too thrilled about me posting this picture here, but there's no denying that she's beautiful when she's sleeping.Two more days of vacation before returning to work. This past week has been my best vacation yet, as I've been able to spend some high quality time with my family -- the kind of time I don't get enough of with my kids.
Hope you had a safe and restful Labor Day.
Your comments?
Joe
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Vacation: Day Five (& the Church Hunt Continues)
Vacation day five was a very relaxing day. We started the morning by continuing our church hunt, trying to find something closer to home where we feel welcome, comfortable, and moved to worship the Lord.Prior to moving to Indianapolis, we attended Maryland Community Church in Terre Haute, where we still return on occasion for the eXchange Community Worship led by Pastor Scot Longyear. It's a ninety minute drive to go there, so we have been hoping to find something closer to home. We have visited several Indianapolis churches in the past few months, and have had a difficult time finding a place that we can call "home." In most cases, my wife and I both know right away whether the church we're in feels like home or not. More accurately, we both have known right away that the church doesn't feel like home. We haven't yet found a church that we have felt we could call home. Until, possibly, today.
Our church hunt took us this morning to Common Ground Christian Church on Illinois Street in Indianapolis. We were running a bit behind this morning, as my wife wasn't feeling well, so things were already under way when we arrived for the 11am service.As we arrived, we were shocked to see the sanctuary so full that we were concerned there might not be two seats together for us to sit. My wife thinking she might have seen some place for us to sit, we decided to drop off the kids and join the worship service.
We had to find our own way to the children's worship area. That wasn't difficult, as there was one main hallway directly outside the sanctuary, and there were signs clearly marking what each room was. We first took our daughter to the toddler class. We were greeted there by a nice gentleman who made us feel welcome and told us how to get to the Kindergarten class to drop off my son. We were greeted there as well, and for the first time in quite some time, my son wasn't resistant to being left in the class.
When we returned to the sanctuary, we found that there indeed were not two seats together for us. Instead, we went up to the balcony and took two seats in the back row. Not normally where we would want to sit, but we were latecomers to the service.
The service today opened with five or six people on the stage reading the entire book of Jonah. We arrived to our seats just as they finished reading and the worship leader took over.
The worship was led by one man, playing an acoustic guitar, with no backup band. There were drums, keyboards, and other band equipment on the stage, but for some reason today the worship band consisted of one person on acoustic guitar. Interestingly enough, that was all that was needed, as you could actually hear all the way up into the balcony the entire congregation joining in the singing. It was quite inspirational. In fact, before the Pastor even took the stage, my wife jotted a note to me that read:
I think I like this church. We'll see after the message.Communion took place before the Pastor took the stage, and once again we were exposed to the unusual form of Communion that I have referred to as a modified form of intinction. Though it isn't the form of Communion we've grown accustomed to, it appears to be quite commonly practiced in Indianapolis, and we are starting to get used to it.
The Pastor delivered a message from the 4th chapter of Jonah (see link above), about choices. Most notably, we were not created to live outside of Eden. Are we choosing to move toward Eden, or away from it? I won't share all of my notes here, as I'll likely post some commentary on it this week at Soapy Joe. I'll add an updated link here
After the sermon, the worship leader returned to the stage during a time for people to make a decision for Christ. As I stated in last week's article, my wife and I prefer a longer time of corporate worship after the message to give people more time to make a decision. No church as of yet has done it this way.
One of the most notable things about the service was what appeared to be the total absence of a time to take an offering. Unless this happened at the very opening of the service before the reading from the book of Jonah, then there was no offering taken during the service.
Most importantly, I think, was the fact that both of my children said they enjoyed the children's worship, that they wanted to return again, and my son actually remembered what his teaching had been about (Esther).
I think we'll be returning again soon to Common Ground, though we will certainly plan to arrive early enough to be seated closer to the front of the sanctuary and to ensure we don't miss the beginning of the service. I'm not completely decided yet, but we may very well have found a local church that we can call home.
After church, we did a little grocery shopping and returned home, where I grilled one of the juiciest, most tender steaks I have ever eaten, as well as veggies for my wife, garlic & onion corn, and hot dogs for the kids. It was our Labor Day cookout, since we'll be spending my son's fifth birthday tomorrow at King's Island.Today was a nice relaxing day, getting the kids to bed early so they can get plenty of rest for tomorrow. I have just three days left before returning to work, and tomorrow will likely be the busiest of them all.
Your comments?
Joe
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Vacation: Day One
Today is my first of eight vacation days. We don't have any major travel plans, just plans for some day trips and some things to do around Indy. Today, we took the kids downtown to the Indianapolis Central Library. We had some almost overdue books to return, and had never been to the main branch, so we thought it would be nice to check it out (no pun intended).I have to say that the Indianapolis Central Library is a beautiful library. Several stories high, with a huge atrium, a large children's area, even a garden. The children got to browse through the books and videos in the children's library and selected several items to take home.
There's even a "theater" area, with a large seating area that faces a stage with a green screen background. There are monitors in the room with cameras aimed at the stage. While background images are played on the monitors, the image from the cameras aimed at the stage are projected over the green screen onto the monitors and, much like the map your local weather personality uses to forecast the weather, the "actors" on stage are magically transported into the scene. My son's favorite was a scene with a skateboard. He stood on the stage where he would appear to be on the skateboard, and as the skateboard rolled across the screen and jumped over several ramps, my son would jump into the air, as if he was riding the skateboard over the ramps. It was quite a scene.Albeit a beautifully designed and decorated building, the Indianapolis Central Library was a major disappointment for me. After more than an hour of walking through several rooms in the library, I was unable to find the book I was looking for: a new release that should by now be out in the libraries. I have found this to be the issue at other branches of the Indianapolis Library, and have been quite disappointed with the Indy Library system since we moved here. I guess I got spoiled at the library where we used to live.
After leaving the library quite disappointed, we decided to go for a walk along the Indianapolis Canal Walk. Having actually lived in Indianapolis several years ago, I never knew that this Canal Walk even existed. Before moving to the city, my wife and I visited here on several occasions and never knew to visit the Canal Walk.With our two young children, we walked from one end of the canal to the other, then went to street level on Indiana Avenue in search of refreshments. Our exhaustive search was fruitless and added about three miles to our total walking distance by the time we headed back down to the Canal level.
Heading back down the other side of the Canal, we stopped at the Sky City Cafe at Eiteljorg Museum, hoping to eat dinner and give our feet a rest. Unfortunately, the cafe closes at 5pm, which left us just ten minutes. We grabbed a soft drink to go for each of us and headed back down to the Canal level.
After more than three hours of walking, we decided to stop for some dinner before heading home. My wife had heard of a place called Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries that sounded pretty promising. Voted the #1 Burger several years in a row, I was eagerly looking forward to having a taste of my own.We were not disappointed. The burgers were delicious, my wife said that the hot dogs we bought for the kids were some of the best hot dogs she had tasted in a long time, and the french fries -- fried in 100% pure peanut oil -- were unbeatable. My wife asked me if it was the best burger I had ever eaten. Giving it a little thought, I can only say: maybe. I would have to have a three-way taste test to decide for sure. One of the best burgers I have ever eaten was at Culvers. It's hard to beat a butter burger.
But not impossible, as Red Robin has proved with their Royal Red Robin Burger. It is quite simply the most delicious burger I have ever eaten. Topped with three strips of hickory-smoked bacon, American cheese, crisp lettuce, tomatoes and mayo, and crowned with a fresh fried egg, the Royal Red Robin Burger simply has no equal. Of course, I would love to get my hands on all three at the same time to conduct a taste test.As for the peanut oil fried french fries at Five Guys, the only other fry that can even compare is that of Penn Station, and I honestly believe that Five Guys might have the Station beat.
After our long day of running around Indianapolis, we returned home just in time to put our daughter to sleep, and my son and I started watching movies we picked up at the library. That is, if the stinking things will play. It seems that free DVD rental, such as those that are loaned at the library, are frequently damaged by prior patrons and unusable .
One day down, seven more to go, with many other planned activities. It's great to have some work-free time to spend with the family. Stay tuned for more updates.
Your comments?
Joe
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Addiction or Habit?
DISGRACED pastor Michael Guglielmucci has finally told of fabricating a terminal cancer battle to hide his 16-year obsession with pornography.
Such a story as this is unbelievable. Two things. First, that anyone can pull such a scam on such a large group of people. Even more surprisingly, that the man pulling the scam was an ordained minister, and that he pulled the scam on his church, and on the public. Second, just sadly disappointing that the scam was pulled supposedly to cover up such a shameful thing as "addiction" to pornography.
With all of the hoopla currently surrounding the Democratic National Convention in Denver (something I affectionately refer to as Obamafest), it would be understandable if you had missed this story. This, the biggest church scandal since the revelation of so many pedophile priests in the Catholic church.
Pastor Michael Guglielmucci of Edge Church International, over the past two years, has claimed to be battling cancer. With an outpouring of love and support from friends, family, loved ones, and his church, he has been in the fight of his life. He even wrote quite an inspirational worship song that he claims was inspired by his disease and his God.
It has only recently come out that Michael Guglielmucci's cancer has been a ruse all along. The story was broken by Australia's AdelaideNow, and Michael Guglielmucci has told AdelaideNow that he faked the cancer to cover up his real disease, "addiction" to pornography. He claims that his "addiction" has been so controlling as to make him physically ill, to include (among other symptoms) vomiting and loss of hair.
I won't rehash the whole story here. You can learn more by following the links above. I am merely writing to voice my own opinions on the situation, and on pornography "addiction."
First, I think it is shameful that someone respected and looked up to by his church could create such deception. It is not my place to judge Michael Guglielmucci, but as the father of a little girl, it's difficult not to do so. I say that because I find myself increasingly concerned that some day my own daughter could be victimized by someone who preys on young innocents because they are "addicted" to some form of sexual deviance or another. Whether they be pedophiles, porn addicts, or otherwise, the world seems to be more and more crowded with this type of undesirable.
As a Christian, I want to be able to obey the Lord, avoid judging, and encourage forgiveness. Those things are difficult to do when someone victimizes so many people for something that I feel he should have been able to control.
Yes, I mean to say that I believe Michael Guglielmucci could have controlled his so-called "addiction" to pornography. I'm no psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other type of expert on the topic. I have no special training or certifications on the subject. I am, simply, a man. As a man with access to the Internet, where pornography is easier to find than it is to avoid, it is no one's responsibility but my own to avoid such inappropriate content.
I'm no superhero, and no better than the next guy. I simply love my God, my wife, and my children. I would never want to do anything to hurt any of them. I know that if I was engaged in viewing pornography on the Internet (or anywhere else, for that matter), and my wife discovered it, she would be devastated. She would feel victimized and violated by the man who professes to love her with all that he is. While my daughter is not yet of an age to understand what pornography is, any impact that such behavior might have on my marriage would affect her. And the last thing I want to teach my son is that it's okay to exploit women in such a way as pornography does. I want my son to learn respect, not exploitation.
Worse, actually, than all of what I mention in the paragraph above, I have seen how my wife has been affected by her own father's lack of self-control. Not that I can say he's ever looked at pornography (meaning nudity), but he's one of those men who hangs girlie calendars from car magazines in his garage, stops flipping through television channels whenever he spots something that looks like it might be an attractive woman (seemingly without regard to her age), and can't go out in public without whiplashing himself at every woman that walks by. In fact, one Christmas he gave me a copy of a "gentleman's" magazine as a joke. I don't know what ever came of that magazine (or was it a calendar?), because I left it in his living room without even a second look, and made my disappointment quite clear. I know, that sounds terribly judgmental, but it is more a statement of fact than judgment. And all of these habits of his have had an impact on how my wife views herself and the opinion she has of men in general.
My very beautiful, wonderful wife, I might add, who is also a great mother and a devoted Christian woman.
I do not believe that the habit of viewing pornography can be appropriately labeled as "addiction." Even though my own Pastor has taught several times on the topic and has described people he has worked with who have been addicted to pornography, I am inclined to disagree with him. I do not believe that pornography is an addictive thing. Allow me to explain.
Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and even food all have chemicals in them that we can find ourselves addicted to if we partake of them in excess. These can all be harmful addictions. Physical addictions (in the case of tobacco, even psychological addictions -- I know, I was there myself ten years ago). Pornography, on the other hand, is different. I will admit the fact that viewing pornography might possibly cause the body to release chemicals into the brain that can cause a very similar reaction to that of alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. I will admit that those chemicals might even be addictive. However, I do not believe that it is pornography that Michael Guglielmucci was addicted to (again, trying not to be judgmental is difficult). I believe he may very well have been addicted to the chemicals that his body produced when he viewed pornography, but (and again, not being medically trained beyond basic CPR twenty years ago) I do not believe that those chemicals are created only by viewing pornography.
For example, adrenaline is created in our body by numerous forms of stimulus. Possibly, it is a chemical very similar to adrenaline that is created by the body and released into the blood stream when a person views pornography. Just like riding a roller coaster, the thrill-seeker keeps going back for more of this natural stimulant (adrenaline, or whatever it actually is). He might very well be addicted to the stimulant, but I personally don't believe he's addicted to pornography. Can't that stimulant be obtained or produced through other means? Say, roller coaster riding, or mountain climbing, or going to a stock car race. Maybe, maybe not. I think more likely than not.
If a person finds himself (or, for that matter, herself) stimulated by viewing pornography, and really wishes to stop, why can't he or she seek other avenues of coming about thrills in a more acceptable manner? Why? Maybe because it's just too easy to sit alone on the Internet and search for free pornography. Easy, that is, until someone finds out. And someone always does.
I don't consider it acceptable for we as a society to label every undesirable habit that comes along as addiction just because we don't have the conviction or determination to break these bad habits. I once was both physically and psychologically addicted to smoking. Physically addicted to nicotine, and psychologically addicted to the need to smoke a cigarette. The very act of lighting up, holding the cigarette between my fingers, and blowing the smoke out of my lungs was sometimes heavenly. Seriously. If you're a smoker, you probably understand.
For eight years in the Army I tried many methods to kick the cigarette habit, failing miserably every time. I started smoking when cigarettes were 85 cents a pack. I quit when they neared the three dollar mark. I quit because I knew it was an expensive habit that was killing me. I quit because there were people that I felt might consider the habit dirty, and I would be ashamed of my habit if they found out. When I discovered that I had reasons inside me to quit, and knowing that so many methods had failed me in the past, I devised a method to quit. I'll be happy to share that with anyone who who asks.
I devised a plan that would slowly taper off the amount of nicotine in my system while I struggled with kicking the psychological need to light up. As the nicotine level in my body declined, so did my body's need for the drug. My own determination to put an end to the nasty habit was all it took to kick the psychological addiction. I realized that I had never wanted freedom from smoking so much until then. My smoking plan required that I smoke just one cigarette on the last day of the plan, and I had to force myself to light up. I haven't had even the faintest desire -- physically or psychologically -- to return to the nasty habit since then.
In my mind, "addiction" to pornography is very much like addiction to nicotine. Granted, the physical addiction is to a different chemical, and the delivery method is different. But those are the two major differences between the two habits. I firmly believe that someone who identifies the harmful nature of the habit and has a true desire to overcome it can do so. Whether we're talking about smoking or pornography, the "addiction" is merely the habit of choice. We can train our bodies to not need the chemical if we understand in our minds that we don't need to light up -- or click, in the case of pornography.
I am interested in hearing your input. Have you suffered from "addiction" to pornography? Have you kicked the habit, or are you struggling now to do so? Tell me your story. You can leave the name field blank, or enter an alias if you wish. If you review past articles, you'll see that I always post comments submitted through this form as Anonymous. Your secret is safe with me, and I promise to pray for you and try not to judge you. In fact, if you just need to vent and prefer your comments not be shared, just let me know, and I'll withhold them from publication.
Of, if you just think I'm full of it and don't know what I'm talking about, tell me that, too. Just click the link below.
Your comments?
Joe
Such a story as this is unbelievable. Two things. First, that anyone can pull such a scam on such a large group of people. Even more surprisingly, that the man pulling the scam was an ordained minister, and that he pulled the scam on his church, and on the public. Second, just sadly disappointing that the scam was pulled supposedly to cover up such a shameful thing as "addiction" to pornography.
With all of the hoopla currently surrounding the Democratic National Convention in Denver (something I affectionately refer to as Obamafest), it would be understandable if you had missed this story. This, the biggest church scandal since the revelation of so many pedophile priests in the Catholic church.
Pastor Michael Guglielmucci of Edge Church International, over the past two years, has claimed to be battling cancer. With an outpouring of love and support from friends, family, loved ones, and his church, he has been in the fight of his life. He even wrote quite an inspirational worship song that he claims was inspired by his disease and his God.
It has only recently come out that Michael Guglielmucci's cancer has been a ruse all along. The story was broken by Australia's AdelaideNow, and Michael Guglielmucci has told AdelaideNow that he faked the cancer to cover up his real disease, "addiction" to pornography. He claims that his "addiction" has been so controlling as to make him physically ill, to include (among other symptoms) vomiting and loss of hair.
I won't rehash the whole story here. You can learn more by following the links above. I am merely writing to voice my own opinions on the situation, and on pornography "addiction."
First, I think it is shameful that someone respected and looked up to by his church could create such deception. It is not my place to judge Michael Guglielmucci, but as the father of a little girl, it's difficult not to do so. I say that because I find myself increasingly concerned that some day my own daughter could be victimized by someone who preys on young innocents because they are "addicted" to some form of sexual deviance or another. Whether they be pedophiles, porn addicts, or otherwise, the world seems to be more and more crowded with this type of undesirable.
As a Christian, I want to be able to obey the Lord, avoid judging, and encourage forgiveness. Those things are difficult to do when someone victimizes so many people for something that I feel he should have been able to control.
Yes, I mean to say that I believe Michael Guglielmucci could have controlled his so-called "addiction" to pornography. I'm no psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other type of expert on the topic. I have no special training or certifications on the subject. I am, simply, a man. As a man with access to the Internet, where pornography is easier to find than it is to avoid, it is no one's responsibility but my own to avoid such inappropriate content.
I'm no superhero, and no better than the next guy. I simply love my God, my wife, and my children. I would never want to do anything to hurt any of them. I know that if I was engaged in viewing pornography on the Internet (or anywhere else, for that matter), and my wife discovered it, she would be devastated. She would feel victimized and violated by the man who professes to love her with all that he is. While my daughter is not yet of an age to understand what pornography is, any impact that such behavior might have on my marriage would affect her. And the last thing I want to teach my son is that it's okay to exploit women in such a way as pornography does. I want my son to learn respect, not exploitation.Worse, actually, than all of what I mention in the paragraph above, I have seen how my wife has been affected by her own father's lack of self-control. Not that I can say he's ever looked at pornography (meaning nudity), but he's one of those men who hangs girlie calendars from car magazines in his garage, stops flipping through television channels whenever he spots something that looks like it might be an attractive woman (seemingly without regard to her age), and can't go out in public without whiplashing himself at every woman that walks by. In fact, one Christmas he gave me a copy of a "gentleman's" magazine as a joke. I don't know what ever came of that magazine (or was it a calendar?), because I left it in his living room without even a second look, and made my disappointment quite clear. I know, that sounds terribly judgmental, but it is more a statement of fact than judgment. And all of these habits of his have had an impact on how my wife views herself and the opinion she has of men in general.
My very beautiful, wonderful wife, I might add, who is also a great mother and a devoted Christian woman.
I do not believe that the habit of viewing pornography can be appropriately labeled as "addiction." Even though my own Pastor has taught several times on the topic and has described people he has worked with who have been addicted to pornography, I am inclined to disagree with him. I do not believe that pornography is an addictive thing. Allow me to explain.
Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and even food all have chemicals in them that we can find ourselves addicted to if we partake of them in excess. These can all be harmful addictions. Physical addictions (in the case of tobacco, even psychological addictions -- I know, I was there myself ten years ago). Pornography, on the other hand, is different. I will admit the fact that viewing pornography might possibly cause the body to release chemicals into the brain that can cause a very similar reaction to that of alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. I will admit that those chemicals might even be addictive. However, I do not believe that it is pornography that Michael Guglielmucci was addicted to (again, trying not to be judgmental is difficult). I believe he may very well have been addicted to the chemicals that his body produced when he viewed pornography, but (and again, not being medically trained beyond basic CPR twenty years ago) I do not believe that those chemicals are created only by viewing pornography.
For example, adrenaline is created in our body by numerous forms of stimulus. Possibly, it is a chemical very similar to adrenaline that is created by the body and released into the blood stream when a person views pornography. Just like riding a roller coaster, the thrill-seeker keeps going back for more of this natural stimulant (adrenaline, or whatever it actually is). He might very well be addicted to the stimulant, but I personally don't believe he's addicted to pornography. Can't that stimulant be obtained or produced through other means? Say, roller coaster riding, or mountain climbing, or going to a stock car race. Maybe, maybe not. I think more likely than not.
If a person finds himself (or, for that matter, herself) stimulated by viewing pornography, and really wishes to stop, why can't he or she seek other avenues of coming about thrills in a more acceptable manner? Why? Maybe because it's just too easy to sit alone on the Internet and search for free pornography. Easy, that is, until someone finds out. And someone always does.
I don't consider it acceptable for we as a society to label every undesirable habit that comes along as addiction just because we don't have the conviction or determination to break these bad habits. I once was both physically and psychologically addicted to smoking. Physically addicted to nicotine, and psychologically addicted to the need to smoke a cigarette. The very act of lighting up, holding the cigarette between my fingers, and blowing the smoke out of my lungs was sometimes heavenly. Seriously. If you're a smoker, you probably understand.For eight years in the Army I tried many methods to kick the cigarette habit, failing miserably every time. I started smoking when cigarettes were 85 cents a pack. I quit when they neared the three dollar mark. I quit because I knew it was an expensive habit that was killing me. I quit because there were people that I felt might consider the habit dirty, and I would be ashamed of my habit if they found out. When I discovered that I had reasons inside me to quit, and knowing that so many methods had failed me in the past, I devised a method to quit. I'll be happy to share that with anyone who who asks.
I devised a plan that would slowly taper off the amount of nicotine in my system while I struggled with kicking the psychological need to light up. As the nicotine level in my body declined, so did my body's need for the drug. My own determination to put an end to the nasty habit was all it took to kick the psychological addiction. I realized that I had never wanted freedom from smoking so much until then. My smoking plan required that I smoke just one cigarette on the last day of the plan, and I had to force myself to light up. I haven't had even the faintest desire -- physically or psychologically -- to return to the nasty habit since then.
In my mind, "addiction" to pornography is very much like addiction to nicotine. Granted, the physical addiction is to a different chemical, and the delivery method is different. But those are the two major differences between the two habits. I firmly believe that someone who identifies the harmful nature of the habit and has a true desire to overcome it can do so. Whether we're talking about smoking or pornography, the "addiction" is merely the habit of choice. We can train our bodies to not need the chemical if we understand in our minds that we don't need to light up -- or click, in the case of pornography.
I am interested in hearing your input. Have you suffered from "addiction" to pornography? Have you kicked the habit, or are you struggling now to do so? Tell me your story. You can leave the name field blank, or enter an alias if you wish. If you review past articles, you'll see that I always post comments submitted through this form as Anonymous. Your secret is safe with me, and I promise to pray for you and try not to judge you. In fact, if you just need to vent and prefer your comments not be shared, just let me know, and I'll withhold them from publication.
Of, if you just think I'm full of it and don't know what I'm talking about, tell me that, too. Just click the link below.
Your comments?
Joe
Monday, July 28, 2008
40th Birthday Bash
This week I'll hit the big Four-O. Yesterday, my wife put together a birthday celebration for me. I constantly say that we don't need to have get-togethers for my birthday, but my wife's family gets together for every birthday, and to my wife it is very important to have everyone get together for my birthday, as well.So the first part of the plan was to have her parents come into town on Saturday night to spend the night. They would have some time to play with the kids and visit, then go to church with us the next morning, then we'd have our little birthday get together.
My wife is very big into baking, mostly cakes and cupcakes, but generally anything. So she made this huge three-layer cake. It was unbelievably big and, in fact, a pretty large part of it is still in the freezer. I'll probably be eating cake for weeks.
I had to work Saturday morning, but only until about noon. When I came home at noon, my son was all excited about the birthday surprises they had planned for me. At one point he said, "Don't look in the oven," because there was a special surprise hidden there for me. We then went to the play room to set up the air mattress for the in-laws to sleep on. I was getting quite hungry and asked my son to ask his mother to put the pizza in the oven. He said, "You mean order the pizza?" I soon learned I should have taken his advice.Several minutes later, my wife came running into the room, shouting, "I need you! I turned on the oven to preheat it and the kolachies were still in there and now they're all burning and the plastic plate is melting all over the oven!" I ran down the stairs to the rescue, deep into the terrible stench of melted plastic. I grabbed a pot holder and pulled the entire rack from the oven, with the smoldering kolachies on it, and sat it on the sink. I turned off the oven and stood back in shock.
It took some four hours to allow the oven to cool, chip out the majority of the plastic, then heat it back up and clean out the rest, as well as chip the plastic icicles off the oven rack (never should have let it cool completely). The stench of melted plastic never seemed to go away. My wife was devastated about the destroyed kolachies. She had made them for me before, but never from my grandmother's original recipe. Maybe I should explain kolachies.
| As a kid, every year at Christmas my grandmother would make these amazing danish type snacks she called kolachies. She would make them for myself, my father, and my brother. We would each receive our own specially prepared cookie tin filled with kolachies, and we treasured them so much that we wouldn't share them with anyone. In fact, we would always joke about trying to eat each other's kolachies before eating our own. Not possible, as we all guarded our prize closely. Each year, to make them more special, I imagine, Gram (my grandmother) would tell us that they were so much work, and it got harder and harder for her every year, and that she just hadn't made any that year. Then, eventually, they would come out. My grandmother passed away a few years back, and the kolachies went with her. Except that my wife took it upon herself this year to get my grandmother's original recipe from my brother's wife. And this year, she made them as a special surprise for me. |
So after getting the plastic all cleaned up, my wife said she wanted to make another batch of kolachies for me. She said it was important to her that I have the kolachies. I was concerned that first it would take too much time and be too much work for her, and I wanted her to be able to visit with her parents, and second that they would come out of the oven tasting like plastic. I suggested she bake something else as a test first before going to all the work of making the kolachies.
To make a long story short (if it's not already too late), the biscuits she made as a test product came out fine, and she proceeded to prepare a second batch of kolachies that tasted so incredibly like Gram's that it's almost too good to be true. She got up early the next morning to finish them before church, and also made homemade blueberry muffins for breakfast.
After church, I took the kids out to the backyard to play on their new Slip-n-Slide while my wife prepared the burgers, brats, hot dogs, cheddar dogs, and corn for the grille (some day I'll share the corn recipe, because there is nothing better than real Indiana sweet corn prepared just right on the grille). As the kids splashed and laughed in the backyard, my wife had her second surprise in the works. I turned around as someone came out the patio doors and was shocked to see my brother and sister who had driven in from Cincinnati. Quite an unexpected, pleasant surprise. I hadn't seen my sister since my daughter's birthday party in May, and hadn't seen my brother since just after we bought our house in December.
My wife, never one to settle, wasn't done yet. She found a recipe for Sonic's Cherry Limeade and made a big punch bowl full of it. If you haven't had it, it is an incredible drink.After grilling and eating, she gathered everyone into one place in the living room for me to open gifts. There were mostly gift cards to various bookstores (including Amazon), which as you probably know is perfect, because I am quite an avid reader.
My in-laws gave me an electronic dart board, which my son and I have played together the past two nights. He's actually doing quite well at throwing the darts and making them stick into the board. Pretty incredible for a four year old. Tonight we had a darts tournament, then went out for "the grand prize," which was a four-flavor Icee at Speedway.
My wife sprung her last big surprise on me after all the other gifts were open. She gave me an envelope that felt a bit thick. I opened the envelope and was shocked to find a reservation for this Sunday for a Richard Petty Ride-Along at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (yes, the Brickyard). This coming Sunday, I'll be racing around one of the most famous race tracks in the world in a stock car, all decked out in racing gear, and probably won't be able to stop talking about it for weeks (unless, of course, the experience kills me).You know, I'm not normally big on having a celebration for my own birthday. Not that I want to stop the aging process, or anything. I just don't want to see everyone go to such trouble for me. Hey, it's gonna happen every year until the day that I die, so what's the big deal, right?
Well, this year my wife made it a big deal. She made it a very special day for me, and I know she went through a great deal of planning and work to make it all just right. And when the plastic kolachie tragedy struck, she didn't miss a beat.
Pretty awesome day, pretty awesome wife.
Your comments?
Joe
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Global Food Crisis
The following post was actually written on 6/25/08, but withheld from posting until 6/26/08 for reasons made clear in the Bible.
Today is the day to fast and pray for the Global Food Crisis. If you're reading this early enough, you may still have time to join the fast. If you've already had breakfast, it might be too late to start fasting, but it isn't too late to join in the prayer.
When I first saw this event, I felt compelled to join in the fasting and prayer. I started praying last night before sleeping. Praying for God to support me in the fast, as it can be difficult for those of us who are used to three square meals a day and more to actually go for a day without food. Difficult for us, though so many people in the world do it every day without a choice.
It was an unusual night of sleeping for me. I actually dreamed this whole day through last night, from beginning to end, to the point that the day was just coming to an end in my dreams while my son was waking me up. Of course, as is usual with my dreams, I can't remember the details of the day I dreamed. But I did wake several times throughout the night and felt called to pray more.
Have you ever felt so moved by God that you woke up in the middle of the night and felt that you just had to pray for something? Yeah, it was kind of like that.
My toughest task today, I think, will be to keep myself busy enough to keep my mind off of food. Seems like that might be kind of hard to do, forgetting about food and hunger so I can fast, when I'm supposed to be praying about hunger all day long. Right? But if it was an easy thing to do, it seems like it might lose some meaning.
So why do we pray and fast? Because Jesus taught us that certain kinds of demons are combated only through prayer and fasting. By fasting, we give up a worldly need -- food, in this case -- to bring our minds and our spirits more in tune with our prayers as we talk to God. By purging the body of the gluttony of our daily lives, we free our mind and spirit of some of the distraction that separates us from God. That's what it means to me, at least.
So for one day we fast and pray for a solution for the world's hungry. It almost seems insignificant, compared to the hundreds of millions of dollars that is spend on our current Presidential campaign. That could sure buy lots of food for the world's hungry. Thankfully, there is nothing at all insignificant about the power of prayer.
So at 5:37 pm I broke the fast. I tried, and while I could probably try to make excuses, I'll admit that I just gave in to temptation. I don't know how they do it, sometimes going for days without any real food to eat. They will definitely remain in my prayers.
Joe
Today is the day to fast and pray for the Global Food Crisis. If you're reading this early enough, you may still have time to join the fast. If you've already had breakfast, it might be too late to start fasting, but it isn't too late to join in the prayer.
When I first saw this event, I felt compelled to join in the fasting and prayer. I started praying last night before sleeping. Praying for God to support me in the fast, as it can be difficult for those of us who are used to three square meals a day and more to actually go for a day without food. Difficult for us, though so many people in the world do it every day without a choice.
It was an unusual night of sleeping for me. I actually dreamed this whole day through last night, from beginning to end, to the point that the day was just coming to an end in my dreams while my son was waking me up. Of course, as is usual with my dreams, I can't remember the details of the day I dreamed. But I did wake several times throughout the night and felt called to pray more.
Have you ever felt so moved by God that you woke up in the middle of the night and felt that you just had to pray for something? Yeah, it was kind of like that.
My toughest task today, I think, will be to keep myself busy enough to keep my mind off of food. Seems like that might be kind of hard to do, forgetting about food and hunger so I can fast, when I'm supposed to be praying about hunger all day long. Right? But if it was an easy thing to do, it seems like it might lose some meaning.
So why do we pray and fast? Because Jesus taught us that certain kinds of demons are combated only through prayer and fasting. By fasting, we give up a worldly need -- food, in this case -- to bring our minds and our spirits more in tune with our prayers as we talk to God. By purging the body of the gluttony of our daily lives, we free our mind and spirit of some of the distraction that separates us from God. That's what it means to me, at least.
So for one day we fast and pray for a solution for the world's hungry. It almost seems insignificant, compared to the hundreds of millions of dollars that is spend on our current Presidential campaign. That could sure buy lots of food for the world's hungry. Thankfully, there is nothing at all insignificant about the power of prayer.
UPDATE:
So at 5:37 pm I broke the fast. I tried, and while I could probably try to make excuses, I'll admit that I just gave in to temptation. I don't know how they do it, sometimes going for days without any real food to eat. They will definitely remain in my prayers.
Joe
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Lovin' From The Oven
Proof that my wife loves me?Homemade chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter icing (also homemade).
Eat your heart out!
Joe
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