Did you ever really listen closely to the English language? I mean really listen closely when people talk. We have a knack for assigning names to things that just don't make any sense. Or for not renaming something when the design,form, or use change so drastically that the old name no longer describes the item accurately. Misnomers, is what they are, and some of them really gripe me. Here's a sampling:
Glove Compartment: This is what got me on this kick in the first place. Driving into work this morning I noticed that I have a pair of gloves sitting on my dash. I've always known they were there, but I took special notice of them today. Why are they on they dash? Because the glove compartment is where we store fuses, and napkins, and maintenance records, and ketchup packages, and sunglasses, and everything else that lands in our hands as we drive down the highway. When was the last time you actually put gloves in the glove compartment? There is no room for gloves in the glove compartment.Joe
Spare Tire: The dictionary defines spare as "more than is needed, desired, or required." There was a time long ago that cars were equipped with a fifth full size tire -- more than is needed or required to travel down the road. Today, in the age of cost- and space-saving initiatives, most cars are equipped with what is affectionately known as a do-nut: a rather small temporary tire with both speed and mileage limitations, intended only to get you to the nearest service center to repair or replace a flat. Most of these tires are labelled as temporary, but we still mistakenly refer to them as spares.
Cable News Network: Have you watched one of them lately? Sure, they have news, but so do the "big three" over-the-air networks. Most of the airtime on these so-called News Networks is devoted to talk programming, like Larry King Live, or Hannity and Colmes, and The Abrams Report. Do they talk about timely topics? Sure. But is it news? No way! It's more like talk radio that you can see.
Fire Department: No disrespect intended to Firefighters here, but the place where they work is terribly misnamed. When was the last time you saw a bunch of men in fire-retardant gear jump on the back of a big red truck and run off somewhere to start a fire? Never, I hope! Maybe we should call them the Extinguishing Corps, or better yet, the Bucket Brigade. But then, they don't really use buckets anymore, either.
Technical Support: This one is more of a paradox than a misnomer, but I had to include it. Have you ever called a computer company for technical support? How long did you wait? And did they really solve your problem? Or did they just have you repeat everything you already tried for forty-five minutes before telling you to box it up and take it in for service? Some computer companies provide great support, but with consumers demanding constantly lower prices, we most often see the cost savings hit us in the warranty and technical support. Doesn't that gripe you?
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